Fond Fragmentary Figments

Certain obvious things about the form on the last page such as the lapse in understanding of the differences between the words “no” and “know” as well as “attitude” and “altitude” tend to yell out at the reader even four decades later. Beyond the fact that the inset photo in the upper right — taken at the American International Pictures company picnic in Malibu on 10 October 1976 — is of Minnie Boyd, a few less obvious details merit mention.

AIP was my employer from September of 1976 until May of 1978. They put out such “epic greats” (quotation marks indicate sarcasm) as the Beach Blanket bimbo series with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello, (which introduced two new young bit players: Paul Lynde and Don Rickles), the Vincent Price / Edgar Allen Poe series (when asked why he stared in such terrible movies, he replied, “Because the money was so good),” the classic cult flick Little Shop of Horrors (the original black and white version with a 30 second cameo by Jack Nicholson as the dental patient) as well as such notable Japanese imports as Godzilla versus the Smog Monster.

The job at AIP was hardly the worst in the world and the people were almost invariably pleasant. The story not told in the attachment is that Minnie Boyd had been promoted to be my supervisor only a short time before writing the notice of termination. Also not obvious was the fact that, a week or so before that, i had lined up another job at another nearby company for a better salary.

The gal who was the secretary to the personnel manager (the term “admin” had not yet been coined) was a delightful soul named Wendy Shearing. One perk of working at AIP was the weekly screenings for employees of new movies. At one such event, when Diana and Wendy first met Diana asked, “Are you per chance related to the famous Canadian jazz pianist, George Shearing?” Wendy seemed surprised Diana would’ve remembered him said, “He’s my dad.” Diana told her how she had most of his recordings and how much she enjoyed his playing, having heard him in the NY clubs back in the late 40s and early 50s.

Back to AIP, that morning in May when i went to give two week’s notice to Wendy’s boss, she whispered, “You don’t want to give notice.” Seeing my perplexed expression she explained that under 1978 California law, a company the size of AIP, did not have to pay accumulated sick and vacation pay to employees who quit but they did to those who were fired.

Wendy did a quick scan of my personnel records and showed me the difference was a few hundred dollars. She told me that i should look at it as a special spare-time side-job. Find the most obnoxious person i ever had occasion to deal with and tell him or her off.

One such person (probably the only one who sprang to mind immediately) was a script reader who sent drafts of scripts down for reproducing in the morning (usually up to 50 copies) and then, throughout the day, would send revisions so that the ritual of pulling and trashing pages within each script to be replaced by newer pages (in various colors) would entail overtime for the entire department. Shortly after my visit to Wendy, the script reader’s secretary phoned to have a new script picked up to start the usual nonsense.

When i told her to tell her boss “If she can ever actually get her act together and wait until later in the day when she had all the pieces and knew on what color paper each portion needed to be printed, the deadline would be met.” The secretary asked “You guys can actually do that?” (i began to wonder, “How far must i push these folks to get fired???”)

Luckily, i need not have worried. By the time her script was ready, her boss and boss’s boss sent word down to drop everything else and only work on something else of higher priority. When i told the script reader’s secretary that the script would need to wait another day or two, the script reader herself called and told me, “Richard, you’re an [rectal cavity]!” What a delight to tell her, “Ceil [a contraction of Lucille], you have no idea how gratifying it is to learn you hold me in so much higher esteem than i view you!”

That did it. Minnie served the attached notice, i did the same two weeks i would’ve done anyway and got a nice send-off lunch (Diana was invited and attended) at a favorite Mexican restaurant in Century City.

Dénouement

The new job only lasted for a couple of weeks. The guy who interviewed and hired me was filling in for my new boss whose vacation ended the day i started the new job. After two weeks, a Xerox tech rep i knew from AIP was servicing one of the laser printers at the new job and i asked him, “Hey, do you know of anyone looking for an employee where i might work? This guy is impossible.” The tech rep pointed behind me and, standing a foot away was the boss who i did not hear sneak up. He was waving “Bye-bye” with one hand and then handed me a check he had already drawn up a day earlier.

That happened on 24 October, Diana’s birthday just about at lunchtime so that was my dubious present. After we returned from lunch, the phone rang and it was the tech rep who told me that our conversation was interrupted before he had a chance to give me the name and phone number of another employer who he had heard was looking for people to staff his new operation in Santa Monica.

An hour or so later, i interviewed and was hired (for higher salary yet) and worked for almost two years at this company before leaving to do some free-lance orchestration. The boss and his wife from Santa Monica remained friends for a couple decades until each died.

Further Dénouement

Over the past few decades Diana and i, more for mild distraction than anything else, would often have the TV turned to the 24/7 Classic Arts Showcase local PBS station. Among the snippets that they re-aired well over a year ago was a 1948 old black and white bit of footage from the late 40s or early 50s featuring Stéphane Grappenelli (the late French jazz violinist) with a combo including Django on guitar and George Shearing on piano.

About the second number in the series, the announcer said “This piece was inspired by the pianist’s young daughter, Wendy.” Diana was sitting at the computer and googled Wendy only to find that she had recently lost a suit against her father’s estate after her step mother paid her a perfunctory amount. Diana’s reaction was, “Sic transit Gloria mundi!”